my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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