If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
