she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
