I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
