let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
