You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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