The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
