sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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