He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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