By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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