Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
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The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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