i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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