Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
