It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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