yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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