if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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