Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
