Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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