If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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