so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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