It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
