hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
