oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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