these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
