Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
