all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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