I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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