am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
