1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
