Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's Friday. Sex?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
