your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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