My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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