Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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