margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My vagina is officially offended.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
