You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize