I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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