Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
