I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
