Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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