I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
