I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
