Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
