Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
