shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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