Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
