I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
