C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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