everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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