brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
