I think I won the penis lottery.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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