I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
