come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
