I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
