I am puke
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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