He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
