Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
