She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
