I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
