I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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