Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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